A New Start

Co-written by: Brad and LJ (with input at the beginning from another Friend)

Special thanks to our betas, Mel & Sean.



Travis stormed through the front door, slamming it behind him. He stomped over to the liquor cabinet and poured himself a stiff drink, then swallowed it in one gulp. It burned all the way down to his stomach and caused his eyes to water. The discomfort didn’t bother him at all; in fact, he rather relished it and filled the glass for the second time.

“The miserable, fucking, old bastard!” he muttered as he walked over to stare unseeingly out the window. Travis couldn’t remember ever feeling this angry.

Callum successfully hid his surprise at finding his partner drinking in the middle of the afternoon. Pouring himself a drink and deciding to join Travis, he quietly moved to stand beside him. He put his hand up to massage the other man’s neck. “Something troubling you, Pup?”

“This came for me today.” Travis pulled a crumpled letter out of his shirt pocket and handed it to Callum. “One of the few old friends I’ve kept in touch with was good enough to send it. He’s offering his condolences on the death of my mother. Apparently she passed away three weeks ago and my son-of-a-bitch of a father didn’t see fit to inform me. He knows I have made it point to keep his attorney aware of my whereabouts over the last few years.” The anger dissipated and in its’ wake the young man’s emotional pain escalated. Travis was unable to prevent his eyes from filling up and overflowing. Tears rolled unchecked down his cheeks.

Callum glanced over the letter and cringed. “I’m so sorry, luv. I think it would have been easier to bear had your father notified you. I wonder why he did not see fit to do so.” Callum didn’t know a lot about his lover’s past as Travis usually clammed up whenever the subject of his childhood was brought up.

Travis leaned into the loving embrace which warmed him outside as much as the raw liquor had warmed him inside. He relaxed as the soothing words flowed over him and went along with being directed over to the overstuffed chesterfield. He sat silently for several long minutes as he worked to gain control of his emotions. He stared at the liquid in his glass, becoming somewhat mesmerized by the small whirlpool caused by his slowly stirring finger.

“Would it help to talk about her, my sweet?”

“She had a heart of gold, my mom did.” Travis finally spoke so quietly it was hard to hear him. “She was a gentle, kind and loving mother; much too good for the likes of him. For some reason she idolized him in spite of how he treated her. I never noticed how things were between them when I was a kid; only began cluing in when I hit my teens.” He wiped his wet face on his shirt-sleeve and worked at keeping addition tears at bay.

“She was a consummated actress, always maintaining the persona of a perfect wife and hostess; a model member of the social elite. She did an admirable job of hiding her heartache, but I was eventually able to see through it. The more I learned of their relationship, the more I grew to dislike my father. I’d never tell my mom though because it just would have added to her unhappiness.”

Callum sadly shook his head. It was obvious his Brat thought the world of his mother. Although Callum refrained from speaking, the older man’s compelling presence was felt and appreciated.

Travis continued stirring his drink with his finger as he drifted back into the past. “She never once stood up to him, not for herself and not for me or my sister. It really used to piss me off sometimes and it was the only thing we ever argued about. Come to think of it, she never stood up to my sister either. Eunice was very much our father’s advocate; he was her hero. Shit, she even went along with the marriage he arranged for her and ended up with a first-class jerk. Brian is a real suck-up and will do anything my old man wants.” Travis shook his head in disgust.

Callum maintained his silence; having no desire to stop the flow of words. He wanted Travis to get as much out of his system as possible.

“I knew early on I was gay but kept that info to myself until I got wind of my father’s plan to coerce me into a ‘socially acceptable’ match in a year’s time when I’d turn twenty-one. That’s when I came out and told them it could never happen as same-sex marriage was illegal in our country.” He shuddered at the memory of that particular confrontation. “I can still remember staring him down; calm and cool on the outside but really scared. Hell, my stomach was so tied up in knots, I thought I was going to throw-up on that expensive oriental carpet in his study.”

Travis swallowed the final mouthful of scotch, set the empty glass on the coffee table and hung his head. “My mom started crying and he made her leave the room. That was the last time I saw her.” His voice cracked but still he doggedly carried on with his story. “He told me to get out of his sight and out of his house immediately; as far as he was concerned, he’d never had a son. He actually had me escorted off the property and would not even let me say goodbye to her. But then, she never got to say goodbye to me either. I don’t know which hurt more.”

Emotionally overwhelmed beyond endurance, Travis suddenly felt the urge to run as fast and as far away as he could, or …….. He glanced up at the man beside him, saw the love and concern in his eyes and chose to seek solace in the other man’s arms. Twisting around, Travis crawled unto Callum’s lap and fully submitted himself to the older man’s care.

“Cry it out, Pup. I’ll always be here for you. I’ll do all within my power to help you get over this,” Callum soothed as he slowly rocked back and forth. It broke his heart to see this beautiful young man he loved with all his might, hurting so badly.

Sobs wracked Travis’ body as he cried out his sorrow and pain until he was boneless with fatigue. He leaned heavily against Callum’s chest, unable to do more than cling to the older man’s now wet shirt. He was in a bit of a daze in the aftermath of the strong emotional release but feeling decidedly better. He had almost dozed off when a thought began to niggle at his mind.

Drawing in a deep shuddering breath, Travis turned a tear-stained face up to Callum and murmured, “In the seven years since I left home, I never once made the effort to contact my mother. I just never quite got over my anger at her not standing up for me. I wonder if she died not knowing I still loved her?”

“I imagine she knew, luv,” Callum assured him. “Mothers have a way of knowing what’s in the heart of their child.” He hummed softly and eventually the younger man fell into a deep slumber.

********************

At first Travis had been appeased by his partner’s words. But over time the anger, mixed with regret, simmered just below the surface and threatened to boil over. He had trouble eating or sleeping as he should and was fast losing interest in activities that he normally found pleasure in.

Worse, he wasn’t talking to the person he should have been talking to; quite the opposite. Unable to take his frustration out on the man responsible for it, Travis was taking it out on the one closest to him. Callum was bearing the brunt of his Brat’s resentment towards his father.

Travis had on more than one occasion come very close to stepping over the line. Callum had tolerantly accepted his Brat’s need to vent and had uncomplainingly endured the sulks and bad temper. The young man realized his Top was cutting him a lot of slack, much more than he deserved and a great deal more than Callum would have in normal situations, but Travis seemed unable to get a grip on his spiralling emotions. He’d even reached the point where he found himself wanting Callum to just put his foot down and call him on his bad behaviour.

‘Help me, please,’ Travis silently pleaded as he sat at the dining room table with his chin resting in one hand. Unfortunately, he didn’t voice his wish out loud. Instead, he continued stirring the food on his plate and making an unappetizing mess in the process. He had been sullen throughout the meal and not at all pleasant to be around.

“What do you say to us spending a quiet evening in front of the TV, my sweet?” Callum patiently suggested. “We can put on a DVD. Something rather mindless would be a perfect end for a mid-week workday.”

“Okay,” Travis responded quietly. It was usually an activity he found enjoyable and relaxing. The movie chosen was also one of his favourites, and yet Travis wasn’t able to concentrate on it. He tried to nestle against his lover, but was too antsy to settle down and stay put. His mind was going non-stop and his emotions were threatening to over-ride common sense. Why he didn’t just tell Callum what had happened, was beyond him.

The first of the week, Travis had called his father to ask why he had not seen fit to inform him of his mother’s passing. The man had hung up the moment he realized who was calling. That had hurt Travis more than he cared to admit and also caused his anger to return in force, leaving him at a loss for what to do next.

Yesterday, upon arriving home late for tea, Travis had let Callum believe he had worked late, when he had actually taken the afternoon off and gone to a picture show in the next town.

This morning, Travis had put on his uniform and left for the post office as usual, only to turn the corner and head down the alley to the small garage behind the house where he was restoring an old car. He then spent the entire day tinkering with it while his feelings of anger and guilt increased. It was the growling of an empty stomach that had him arriving home in time for their evening meal. By now, he was almost sick with self-reproach and apprehension.

“I guess I am a bit restless tonight, Callum. I’m having trouble concentrating,” Travis softly explained once he’d tried for the umpteenth time to stop squirming. “I think I’ll just head up to bed if it is all right with you.”

“Of course, pet. Off you go.” Although Callum was disturbed by his Brat’s mood swings, he put it down to Travis dealing with the loss of his mother. Aside from assuring the younger man that he was available to lend a listening ear, Callum had not wanted to push him. So he clamped his mouth shut and sighed loudly as he turned off the movie, resigned to spending another evening on his own.

That was not the response Travis had unconsciously been looking for. He got to his feet and stood glaring down at the older man. After opening and closing his mouth a couple of time, he abruptly turned and stomped out of the room. Upstairs he slammed the bedroom door shut, almost causing the pictures to vibrate off the walls. Throwing himself down on the bed, he began thumping his pillow with tightly clenched fists.

He didn’t hear the door quietly opening, nor did he hear the soft footsteps. He only became aware of Callum’s presence when the older man lay down beside him.

“What the hell do you want?” Travis belligerently demanded. “Didn’t it cross you mind that maybe I wanted to be alone?” What he got in return for his uncalled for insolence was a mild warning swat on the seat of his pants.

“Actually quite the opposite crossed my mind. There is no need to be discourteous, Pup. I know you’re hurting and I’ve only come up to comfort you.” Callum pulled Travis into his arms and ran his large hands up and down his Brat’s back while his deep voice slowly calmed Travis’ petulant disposition. “Please take note, my sweet, I will not put up with this unpleasantness much longer. I think it would be better for both of us if you talked out your feelings rather than acting them out. What do you think?”

Uncertainly of how to put his thoughts into words, Travis chose to keep them to himself. “It will pass, Callum. I’ll deal with it. I’m sorry for swearing at you and snapping like that.”

“Hmmm, well it best be for the last time then. Right now, let’s get you ready for bed.” Callum spent the next fifteen minutes good-naturedly badgering his Brat through his night time routine.

********************

It was the next night when a change in the ambience slowly dawned on Travis. Once again, he had struggled to keep his negative emotions at bay after having skipped a second full day of work, but it was becoming more difficult as the evening meal slowly dragged out. Callum sitting across from him, seemingly enjoying his meal while steadily eyeing his young partner, had certainly not eased Travis’ discomfort.

“Ah, it’s been a long day, Callum, so I’m going to have another early night,” Travis ventured into the heavily laden atmosphere.

“I don’t think so, as I believe there are a few things we have to discuss.” Callum wiped his mouth with his linen napkin. Although nearing the end of his patience, his voice was calm. He had spent more than enough lonely evenings the past week seeking solace in the music room and had no intention of doing so again this evening.

Besides, a disturbing bit of information had come his way earlier today and he fully planned to pin his Brat down and demand they get everything out in the open and clear the air once and for all. Only then would they be able to move on accordingly.

Travis glanced over at his partner. The expression on Callum’s face did not bode well for the upcoming conversation being a pleasant one.

“I’m disturbed by some of your recent behaviour. While I understand and sympathize with all you’ve had to contend with since learning of your mother’s passing and your father’s thoughtlessness in not informing you, I’m afraid the time has come for you to accept what has happened and for both of us to press on.” Callum pushed back from the table and got to his feet. Holding out his hand, he softly ordered, “Come with me, Pup.”

Travis knew better than to refuse, so he somewhat reluctantly stood and put his hand in the much larger one. He had mixed feelings as he followed his partner up the stairs to their bedroom. On one hand, he didn’t want to face what he suspected was about to take place but on the other, he knew he’d feel so much better once the slate was cleared.

They sat down, side by side, on the foot of the queen-size bed; arms around each other and Travis’ head resting on Callum’s shoulder.

“Talk to me, Travis. You’ve let this fester long enough.”

“You’re right, Callum,” Travis whispered with a small sigh of relief. “I’ve kind of got something to get off my chest.” Plunging headlong before his nerve failed him; Travis shifted uncomfortably and blurted out his confession. “I-I called my old man three days ago. The bastard hung up on me. It not only hurt but it also pissed me off; so much so that I guess I kinda lost it. I know you think I’ve been going to work as usual but I haven’t been since noon the day before yesterday.” He glanced up with tearing eyes. “I’m sorry, Callum, for not telling you about the call and for deceiving you.”

Callum closed his eyes, tightened his embrace and placed a kiss on his Brat’s head. “I am grateful for you finally confessing before I had to demand an explanation, my sweet. I’ve put up with days of pouting and one to many outbursts involving bad language in order to give you time to deal with your emotions, but I draw the line at lying, my lad.” Even though his voice remained calm, there was a ring of steel to it. “I learned of your absenteeism when I went to the Post Office this afternoon. To say I was displeased would be an understatement.”

Travis shuddered at the slight condemnation in his lover’s voice, acknowledging at least to himself that it was justified. His bad choices had deeply hurt this man whom he loved with all his heart and soul. Throwing his arms around Callum’s neck, Travis wailed out his regret. “I am so sorry, Callum. I never meant to hurt you. I should have talked to you as soon as I got off the phone. You would have stopped me from spinning out and damaging our relationship.”

His mind rolled back to that moment in time when he stood staring at the phone in his hand and listening to the dial tone. He had literally shook with anger as his heart pounded in his chest and blood rushed to his head until he felt it was going to explode. It was the security of Callum’s arms that helped him refocus on the here and now. He sat up and wiped his eyes on his shirt sleeve. Making a supreme effort, he managed to get himself under control.

“Rest assured, luv; you have not irrevocably damage our relationship. There is nothing you could do to cause that to happen. Nonetheless, that delightful backside of yours will be dearly paying the price for this latest transgression. Go fetch the hairbrush off my dresser, please.”

Half an hour later, Travis was once again nestled in his lover’s arms. He was still sniffling and his bottom was still throbbing, but he was free of the guilt that had tormented him for days. Callum had unequivocally made known that all was right between them.

“Was there anything important in the post, Callum?” Travis grasped at a topic of conversation. He just wanted to stay right here in his lover’s arms and listen to the older man’s warm British accented voice.

“Yes, there were two letters: one from a legal firm in your home town and one from my business manager. I do believe we may well be at a turning point in our lives. We quite possibly have a bit of traveling in our immediate future. I wouldn’t be at all surprised should your letter be a request to attend the reading of your mother’s will. That and the fact I’ve been offered a teaching position in Canada, could involve an extensive stay across the pond. What do you have to say about all that?”

Travis gave it some thought. “Do you think my old man will be there?” He rather hoped so. It would give him a chance to let his father know just what he thought of him.

“I can’t see why he wouldn’t be present, Pup.”

Turning to face his partner, Travis half lay across the bigger man’s chest while resting his head on his folded arms. “Would you really consider leaving this little town here in England and moving to another country?”

Callum gazed into his Brat’s beautiful questioning eyes and smiled. “Yes; much as I’ve enjoyed our three-year stay here, it is time to move on. Mind you, I have no desire to return to city life. I’m a really more than comfortable with small town living. Besides, I’m looking forward to doing something new with my talents; something less in the public eye. And I think we both could do with a major change; a new start so to speak.”

********************

Travis settled back in his seat and for the umpteenth time watch the DVD playing in the portable device he carried everywhere with him. He couldn’t believe how quickly the last several weeks had flown passed since that night when he and Callum had come to a mutual agreement to move on.

One event in particular over that period of time, stood out more than others. It was the trip they had made back to his hometown of Las Vegas in the good old USA. He’d never forget sitting in that lawyer’s office and surreptitiously studying the three members of his family. He had been shocked at the change in them over the past seven years. It suddenly hit him that although he had desperately missed his mother, he had been better off not having had to associate with these people.

His father, John Sanford, had gained a lot of weight. Although his age was showing and he was now using a cane to support himself during his latest flair-up of gout, he still appeared intimidating. His sister, Eunice, who had never been overly attractive to begin with, now looked particularly repulsive with her thickly applied make-up and a hair-do that added years to her appearance. She and her husband, the cowardly sod, were still childless, much to his father’s disappointment. Neither their money nor their social standing had brought them lasting happiness; assuming it had brought them any to begin with.

Travis was disturbed from his musings when his mother’s lawyer cleared his throat and began speaking.

“I’ll read Catherine Sanford’s will after you have heard the messages she left for each of you.” The attorney clicked the remote control in his hand and the TV to the right of him came on.

Travis blinked and tried to swallow the lump in his throat when his Mother appeared on the screen. She looked as beautiful as he remembered and he felt his eyes filling with tears. He was barely able to prevent them falling when she spoke directly to him first, her voice soft and loving the way he remembered.

“Travis, my darling son; I’ve missed you so very much. You were the biggest joy of my life. I want you to know I’ve always loved you and I have always been aware of your love for me. I wish I’d had the strength to stand up for you and to follow my heart. Maybe I can now make it up to you in some small way. I have kept in touch with a couple of your friends and they kept me informed of what was going on in your life. I am contented in the knowledge that you have found a mate who loves and respects you; someone who makes you happy.”

The rest was lost on Travis as he replayed in his mind, the words his mother had spoken to him. Soon the tape ended and the screen went blank. Catherine had finally said her piece. All that remained was the reading of her will.

By the time all was said and done, Travis had inherited his mother’s personal wealth. An inheritance consisting of valuable stocks and bonds left to her by her father, along with a few antiques that had been in the family for generations. There was also a second DVD that his mother had done for him alone.

Travis rose to his feet and moved off to one side of the room, trying to come to gripes with everything he’d seen and heard. His father was arguing loudly with the lawyer and his sister was glaring daggers at him. He was beginning to feel out of his depth, especially when his father unexpectedly turned towards him with naked hatred burning in his eyes.

Travis didn’t shrink back like he’d done as a youth. Instead, he kept his face expressionless and stood unwavering in the face of the nasty insults and filthy accusations his father hurled at him. He didn’t even make a move to defend himself when his father raised his cane as if to strike him with it.

“Do it!” he harshly demanded. “Give me a reason to repay you for all the pain you caused my mother and me.”

It was only when the cane was lowered and his family had angrily left the room, that it suddenly hit Travis just what a coward his bully of a father had always been. He also came to the realization that he no longer had any feelings towards these people; neither good nor bad. He was free.

His mind returning to the present, Travis grinned as a thrill of satisfaction went through his body. He glanced up when Callum lowered himself into the seat next to him and buckled up.

“Better put that away before you wear it out,” the older man teased. “Besides, we’ll be landing shortly.”

“Thank goodness. Three trans-Atlantic flights in as many weeks is a lot when you’re not used to it. Plus all the other things we had to get done in order to make this move. I can hardly wait to see our house. I mean it looked great online, but I’m anxious to see it for real.”

“And I trust you’re looking forward to starting your new job, right?” Callum place an arm around Travis’ shoulder and pulled his Brat closer. “I know I’m looking forward to teaching; although that won’t be happening for a couple of months. We got a long summer to get through before school opens.”

“Good! Cause you can handle all the work involved in setting up our new home and unpacking when everything gets here. I’m a bit uneasy about the job though. It sure was a break for me to find such a great opening in the post office. I just hope my coming in from the outside so to speak and filling the position of assistant Post Master, doesn’t interfere with me making friends.”

“I have confidence all will work out fine, Pup. No need to fret over what hasn’t happened yet. Keep a positive outlook; that’s the key.”

“Yeah, I got it. All and all, I’m really excited about the challenges we face with our ‘new start’, as you call it.” Travis smiled up at his lover; his eyes sparkling with happiness and anticipation.

Callum leaned forward in order to see out the small window as the airplane’s descent neared the runway in Kelowna. “I’m pleased to hear that, luv, because an hour’s drive to Jade Heights and we’ll be home.”

The End